Think of your relationship like a college course: A couple months in,
you need to give it a midterm evaluation to see how you’re progressing.
If
you pass the test with flying colors, your chances of making the final
grade are great—but if you flop, there’s still time to drop the class
and search for a new major.
Luckily, this relationship quiz
doesn’t require any late-night cramming. It’s called the “awesomeness
factor,” and it might be the best predictor of whether you and your
partner are headed toward lasting success or imminent failure, says
couples therapist Melissa Schneider, L.M.S.W.
Your
awesomeness factor is high—and your long-term prognosis is good—if you
can ace these two questions once you’ve been dating for 4 months or
longer. “By that point, most people will have already encountered any
serious problems they don’t think they can live with,” Schneider says.
Pencils ready? Good luck.
1. Is She Your Almost-Perfect Fit?
Take 5 minutes and jot down a list of the qualities you think a perfect woman should have.
Maybe
you’ve always dreamt of someone who’s intelligent, funny, and
culture-savvy. Fortunately, you found a girl who listens to NPR on her
daily commute, has a mouth as foul as Amy Schumer’s, and can recite
every line of Return of the Jedi on command. Check!
“Everyone
has their own quirky sense of what they want in their ideal partner,”
says Schneider. If she fits most of your must-have criteria, that’s the
best sign she’ll make you happy for years to come.
Keyword: most.
If you always thought you’d end up with a Yankees fan, but fell for a
babe from Boston, that’s okay: “You might meet The One, think she’s
great, and alter the list you had all along,” Schneider says.
But
when you start making a ton of exceptions—she’s a world traveler but she
lacks a sense of humor, she’s hilarious but hasn’t touched a book since
high school—that could indicate your union isn’t built to last.
(Want help landing the woman of your dreams? Make her come to you. Use these Scientific Ways to Attract Women.)
2. Is Your Relationship Better Than Everyone Else’s?
Think about your buddies’ romantic relationships. How does yours stack up to the competition?
You
and your partner barely trade barbs, you try a new position every time
you hit the sheets, and in your humble opinion, she’s way more fun to
hang with than any of the other girlfriends. If you think your pals
would be jealous of your flourishing fling, give this one a check.
But
ignore the surface-level stuff, says Schneider. Of course you think
your girl is the most beautiful of the bunch; your goal is to be sure
you have the strongest all-around bond.
“And the funny thing is, every guy in the room could be thinking that,” says Schneider. “It’s not about actually being the best couple—it’s your perception that counts.”
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