God created mothers to deal with adolescents

It is the time of the year for one to remember fondly one's own mother. Mothers play a pivotal role in bringing up children. They evolve from being the “the most important person” in her child or children's life to one being “behind the scenes.” Even if children hurt her by words and actions, the mother will never hold that against them. As are all things, mothering too is undergoing rapid changes, ‘subtlety' being the key word in dealing with present day children.

The changing equation

There is a beautiful saying that goes, “God cannot be everywhere, so he made mothers.”

For a mother, the child in her life takes precedence. A modern mother is both a sounding board and dartboard! She plays a pivotal role of confidante and counsellor on career guidance too. Despite her impressive portfolio, she cannot afford to keep her head in the clouds for, her children will not allow her to!

Having two teenage children, I have learnt the most important lesson of my life, ‘I am mostly in the wrong!' I am yet to come up with the right answer to the problem my just out-of-teens daughter faces. She feels that I am solely responsible for most of her troubles and no answer of mine is bound to satisfy her. Even silence at that time is not golden! Yet, I know that we share a wonderful rapport.

Clash over fashion

Buying clothes is another task that makes us glare at each other like sworn enemies. She feels that my colour sense is suspect and my fashion sense, retrograde. I feel that if left to her choice, the new dress will be pushed to the back of her wardrobe even before the credit card statement arrives the following month.

I am not sure whether my mother faced such an uphill task. Whenever I feel that I am the lone swimmer in this motherly mire, I seek solace with like-minded parents and I feel great when I know that I am one of the many!

A mother is someone who should stay firmly in the background as far as my teenage son is concerned. He is so caught up with work that he can remove only half the buttons of his shirt before taking it off along with the vest and throwing it anywhere in his room. The only clothes he wears are the ones he can lay his hands on!

We, mothers, feel most wanted when it is mealtime or laundry time. I too read all books on bringing up children, particularly on dealing with adolescents. I have come to one conclusion that all examples used in those books are “purely imaginary and any resemblance to actual person dead or alive is purely coincidental.”

If mothers take false solace in the fact that this phase would soon pass, they are sadly mistaken. My friend had this to say about her ‘twenty-something-to-be-married-daughter'; “Any problem at her fiancé's workplace is also my fault!”

Unconditional love

Despite all these, mothers are great because they don't give up easily. They continue nagging, prodding and praying. Most times they are successful in their job because unconditional love triumphs.

I amend the introductory statement, “God couldn't deal with adolescents, and so he thought of scapegoats in the form of mothers!”

Is mothering the most thankless job with no contentment at all? No, when children become successful in their own field and start quoting you (when they are in their forties or later), you indeed feel blessed that their heart is in the right place and that you have done a great job!