Involving your spouse in financial decision making.

The benefits of managing family finances together by couples far outweigh its demerits. In this concluding series, Okechukwu Nnodim outlines additional reasons why this is laudable.

 Among most married couples, there is a pretty good chance that either the husband or the wife is the one in charge of family finances. Marriage counsellors say in homes where this happens, one of the spouse might not be as involved as the other would like, or might even refuse to get involved in the management of the family’s finances. They note that this dilemma, which is a huge issue for many marriages, can be addressed in an agreeable manner if you have the proper tools and attitude. In our article two weeks ago on ‘Involving family members in saving money,’ it was stated that your ability to save is vital, but involving your family in the process is more beneficial.

According to experts, financial security in a family doesn’t come easy, but requires adequate planning and strict adherence to saving. This, however, can only be meticulously achieved when you involve your spouse in the management of your family finances. In a recent interview with this correspondent, a marriage counsellor, Mrs. Anozie Love says, “No one person can do all the money arithmetic in a home, you have to involve your spouse and you will be surprised at his or her input,” adding that it is not a wise idea to keep your spouse in the dark as pertaining the management of the family’s finances.

She notes that your spouse might not be as involved in the day to day management of your family’s finances, and explains that this is because in many cases your spouse doesn’t have knowledge of how much money is in the family’s bank account. Experts note that most times, the spouse just knows how much he or she can spend on entertainment or clothes for the month and maybe a few other budget categories at his or her disposal. Experts therefore say it is important for both spouses to manage their resources as this has great benefits. In our first article on this series, the points on how to involve your spouse in the management of family finances that were discussed include budgeting together monthly, reviewing expenses together occasionally, switching bill-paying duties and solving the maths together. Below are additional steps on how you can involve your spouse in financial decision making, according to experts:

Instead of quarrelling, focus on solving the problem

Experts say a two-way conversation is the only tool that will result favourably whenever there is a dispute on how to manage the family’s finances. It’s easier to gently persuade someone into changing their mind and it helps if you both focus on your goals which are mutual. You should try opening your discussion with the feel/felt/found method. For example, Anozie says, one of the spouses may say, “When you neglect me and refuse to discuss the finances with me, I feel like my concerns don’t matter. What I’ve found is that when I feel that way, I am not as careful about how I spend our money because I’m hurt and angry.” This statement has its way of calming nerves and will make your spouse see the reason why the two of you should solve your problems together rather than fight or quarrel over it.

 Dream together

It is obvious that we all have dreams of what we would do if money were not issue, but the reality is that without team work between couples, all of these wants and desires remain unrealised pipe dreams and may never come to fruition. Communicate your ideas and listen to your spouse’s ideas. Realise that you need to develop a plan together to make your dreams come true. When you dream together, there is a better chance of getting the right result than when only person is allowed to do the dreaming for the entire household, experts say.

 Discuss financial matters regularly

Money is important in a home. So discussing issues relating to money among spouses should be given great importance. Experts say open communication is so important if you want to get your spouse more involved with the financial future of your family. Any purchases that are going to come out of the monthly budget should be discussed. Not argued over, but discussed like adults.

 Always seek your spouse’s input

This is a great way to involve your spouse. You should ask him or her questions and seek his or her inputs about financial decisions. You’re in dangerous territory if you’re managing the money on an island by yourself without financial counsel or advice from your spouse.  If you’re a male, don’t make this mistake. Experts say women have a great sense of intuition and often gifted with discernment. These are important qualities and characteristics you need on your family money management team.

 Relate to each other like business partners

This is one vital characteristic that distinguishes successful homes when it comes to managing family finances. Listen to the concerns of the other, but don’t let anything get blown out of proportion. If you can’t communicate with your spouse without losing your temper, you will never be able to realise your common goals and dreams. Only gentle persuasion and mature discussion will get your spouse to participate in the family financial decisions.