‘I had such a great life on the outside, but I was miserable on the inside
Nicole Scherzinger seemed to have led a charmed life as the head of the Pussycat Dolls – but she admits that in real life, she was miserable.
The brunette beauty has spoken out about her struggles with bulimia
while a member of the popular girl group best known for their 2005 hit single
“Don’t Cha.” In an interview in the August issue of
British Cosmopolitan, the 36-year-old pop star said she still finds it hard
to discuss that difficult time.
“[Opening up about bulimia] was hard for me to speak about. It still is
hard, and thinking about it I try not to well up,” she said. “It is such a
horrible paralyzing disease and it was such a dark time for me.
“I didn’t think anyone knew in my group or in my family because I hid
it that well,” she added. “I knew it wasn’t normal or healthy because I was
hurting myself through this cycle of disordered eating. It was my drug, my
addiction. It’s an endless vicious cycle.”
Only after Scherzinger blacked out did she realize that she needed to
seek help.
“I had started losing my voice, I couldn’t sing at shows, and then I
remember my manager finding me passed out on the floor in Malta or in the south
of France,” she revealed. “I thought, ‘I’m going to lose everything I love if I
don’t love myself.’ I had such a great life on the outside, the (Pussycat)
Dolls were on top of the world but I was miserable on the inside. I’m never
letting that happen again; you only get one life.”
Scherzinger, who quit the Pussycat Dolls in 2010 to launch a solo
career, said that she wanted to speak out about her eating disorder to help
others not feel alone.
“You can recover and you can get rid of it forever. I did it and that’s
why it’s so important for me to share my story,” the star said. “Do not give up
because you’re so special and you’re meant for such great things.”
The “X Factor UK” judge also opened up about her relationship with
29-year-old Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton.
“Well it’s something crazy romantic,” she said. “Relationships are hard
and having to hold a long-distance relationship is even harder. It’s kudos to
us for growing and trying – there’s so much love there.”
“But I’m good and I’m happy,” Scherzinger added.
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