Six New Rules of Sex Appeal

But their appeal goes beyond fame or earning power. Call it charisma, call it confidence. Social scientist Catherine Hakim, Ph.D., calls it "erotic capital" and wrote a book with the same title. It's that certain something, she says—a combo of liveliness, sex appeal, physical beauty, fitness, charm, style, and yes, sexual competence. Oh, is that all? Don't feel daunted—erotic capital can be learned. "It's how these men behave and carry themselves," says Susan RoAne, the author of How to Work a Room. Out of the way, Clooney.

Liveliness

Whether you're grabbing the mike at karaoke or just cracking jokes all night, your good vibes are contagious, says sex therapist Brandy Engler, Psy.D. "We feel a sense of self-expansion around people who are enthusiastic about life."

Flaunt Your Wit
Funny guys get laid: In a study in the journal Intelligence, men with a solid sense of humor reported having more casual sex. Comedian Steve Lemme suggests the "callback"—a humorous reference to things you've already talked about. ("I'm headed to Bermuda this summer—I know, not as nice as [insert her hometown here]"). It shows you're witty—and you've been listening.

Spice Up Your Dates
Invite her along for an activity you feel passionate about—even if it's bass fishing. "Do something that makes you feel full of life," says Engler, author of The Men on My Couch. Help her cast the line, say, and engage all her senses—the feel of the line, the ripples of the water, the stink of the bait. That's passion.

Physical Beauty

Sure, genes matter: Facial symmetry, masculinity, and skin tone all provide erotic capital, says Hakim. In a 2014 study in Psychological Science, women favored men with wide faces for short-term relationships, perhaps because they saw them as more dominant. Bad genes? Don't worry. Try this plan.

Enhance your jaw
Facial hair is male makeup: It covers flaws and enhances assets. A five o'clock shadow highlights a good chin, says Danny Baptista, owner of The Stepping Razor Barbershop in Brooklyn, while a short beard can create the illusion of symmetry and add bulk to a weak chin. Trim cheek whiskers using the 2 or 3 guard 1/4" to 3/4") on your clippers, he advises. Let the hair on your chin and jaw grow slightly longer.

Smooth Your Face
A craggy mug will cramp your style. In winter, use a cleanser meant for dry skin, and then add a facial cream before heading out, says John Romano, M.D., a cosmetic dermatologist at Weill Cornell Medical College.

Sexual Attractiveness

There's no Instagram filter to help you achieve this. Sexual attractiveness involves not only the shape of your body but also the way you move and talk, says Hakim.

Fake The V
Step one: Start doing the workouts on our website. In the meantime, fake a V-shaped torso—widely considered the male ideal—with this trick from Sarah Lee, executive creative director for Bombfell, a clothing subscription service: Wear a light-colored T-shirt with a thick stripe across the shoulders and chest. "This brings your eye upward," she says. A tee that's tighter across the top and just grazes your belly will add to the V-shaped illusion.

Conquer Space
In a U.K. study, women rated men as more attractive when the men's posture conveyed dominance—sitting with their arms and legs open while gesticulating and touching a nearby person, versus sitting with arms crossed and legs together. "When you take up space, you exude confidence," says RoAne.