Touching Story .......
After 9years of wait, pressure and tribulations from different concerned
friends and worried members of the family, celebrity photographer and singer,
TY Bello welcomed a set of twin boys in October 2014.
Although she's still savouring the immeasurable joy of motherhood, but
TY Bello had to endure struggle with Endometriosis, IVF and ceaseless pressure
from friends and family before she finally became a proud mother.
In a recent interview, TY, who revealed she went through IVF to
conceive her boys, said the journey to pregnancy was a very intense one for
her, as she also cleared the rumours that she employed the services of a
surrogate mother to carry the twins for her.
"My journey to pregnancy was a very intense one. I had just been
through the toughest nine years of trying to get pregnant, being confident that
it would be a breeze since I had always known that I would make a great mother.
It was quite humbling when it didn't happen as I had envisioned it. It was
grueling actually," she said
She also hinted that she had always joked about having twin boys to
make up for the lost time of motherhood and that she never knew God was
listening to her.
"At first we didn't know I was carrying twins. When I was going
for my test, I didn't feel pregnant. Before I went, I heard in my spirit, 'Wear
something nice'. I questioned the voice and wondered if it was nice to dress so
nicely and get disappointed, setting myself for a heartbreak. In the end, I
obeyed. I decided in my mind that whether I was pregnant or not, I was not
going to stop believing. My doctor was very dramatic about the announcement
too. She screamed so much we couldn't even decipher her words. I had a delayed
reaction as her words wouldn't sink in. It was overwhelming, We were truly
happy and couldn't stop crying.
I remember two people, Pastors Obi Pax Harry and Angela Ashong telling
me matter-of-factly that I was going to have twins. It happened to the detail.
My friends know how I have always made it a joke about having twin boys to make
up for lost time. I wanted boys because I joked that I was an eternal fourteen
year old lanky boy myself and so we would all get along. I can't believe God
was listening. It was few months before we could confirm that we were having
boys."
The 'Land is green' crooner also said she discovered that a long standing undiagnosed battle with Endometriosis was responsible for her delay in pregnancy
"In perfect timing though, two older friends of mine, Dr Odaga and
Mrs Morin Desalu came into our lives and helped us be more proactive in our
journey to becoming parents. What started with dark clouds took a turn. For
instance when Aunty Morin whisked my husband and I to see her doctor at
George's hospital. We discovered that a long standing yet undiagnosed battle
with Endometriosis was responsible and I just assumed I had the worst period
pains. Shortly after that, through Dupe Kupoluyi, we met a fantastic doctor
named Yemisi Bero at the Arc Clinic who became our fertility doctor.
I went through my IVF cycle with her, probably in the middle of the
busiest seasons in my career. I remember jabbing myself at airports sometimes
just to keep with the schedule as I worked like crazy. Sometimes I think I
stayed so ridiculously busy just to keep my mind off the difficult process. To
the glory of God, that cycle was successful and everything inside of me screamed
for me to slow downed but I didn't just know how. I decided to start a
pregnancy journal and instinctively titled it "Quiet Streams"
Immediately I knew then that everything was going to change and it did. It was
like a switch was flipped and my body went rest mood."
Just like some other women who have stayed over four years in marriage
without a child, TY Bello's friends and family pressurised her severely during
the wait for her babies.
"Oh you can't even begin to imagine. Society and even your
personal fears can pressure you before a desire manifests. In our society, as
with most, once you hit a four year mark after your wedding, everyone around
you starts to blare their alarm. Nine years? Now that was deafening. Every time
I prayed, I knew everything was going to be fine and my life was in the course
set for me. The pressure gets more difficult when you are trying and it isn't
happening.
It was important I turn a deaf ear sometimes. It was important that I
didn't feed my doubts. Someone once said to me after the babies came, "You
can't call your experience waiting, you were living your life to the full
before their arrival". I explained that was exactly my waiting experience.
I always say that Christ came to die that we may have life and have life
abundantly and that I want to live life to the maximum. If you allow yourself
to sustain a state of misery because you don't have something, whether
marriage, children or a dream career, then you can't have a full life. It is in
the place of living outside of the tyranny of the desire that it comes to you
in its full glory. I knew for sure I was born to be a great mum. I just wasn't
sure on how it would play out but I knew it would happen nonetheless."
She also reacted to the rumors that she did not carry her boys herself,
that she engaged the services of a surrogate, TY said
"Funny enough I had a shoot during my pregnancy and the makeup
artist who did my makeup during my maternity shoot was in a room where this was
being thrown around and she couldn't stop laughing as she spent enough time
with me when I was pregnant. I was blessed to have Kelechi Amadi-Obi make the
photographs and it was special as he had photographed our wedding as well.
Its beautiful to have your bump photographed in appreciation but not
necessarily as evidence of your being with a child. There are women who would
become mothers via adoption or surrogacy. The difference is insignificant. We
all carry our children"
Finally, the proud mother of Chris and Chris advised other women who
are waiting for a child to tap from her testimony and believe in God.
"Waiting of any kind can be very troubling. You can't imagine what
a waiting woman goes through. I have spoken to may women and they described the
process as getting an endless cycle of hope and disappointment. That is what
breaks the spirit coupled with the stigma, especially in this part of the
world. My advice is to never let go of the desire to be parents as God himself
put it there. Celebrate the fact that you are alive and never take it for
granted. Give yourself permission to experience joy, to dream and fulfill
purpose as you wait. It adds value to the type of parent you become. It is
always worth it in the end.
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