Nollywood veteran actor and politician, Bob-Manuel Udokwu
rolled out the drums on Thursday to celebrate his 15th marriage anniversary to
his wife, Cassandra Udokwu at the Golden Tulip Hotel, Festac Town, Lagos. It
was an occasion for selected friends, Nollywood hotshots and a number of media
executives. In spite of the exhilarating atmosphere of celebration and
merriment the couple found time to speak with Potpourri and here is what they
say, concerning the success of their marriage:
What exactly did you see in your wife that made you marry
her?
When I met her, she was and still outstanding. She was
walking like a trained model .I met her at the University of Lagos when I went
to do my Masters degree, she was doing her first degree then. I stopped her and
asked her if she was a trained model and she said she wasn’t. She asked me why
I asked and I told her she walks like one. She said her mother taught them to
walk lady-like and I said okay. Gradually, we got to know each other and I
found out that she was well brought up. These are the qualities most of
our young girls lack and that got me more and more interested. Fifteen years
down the line it’s been exciting.
How has the journey been so far?
The journey has been good, interesting sometimes
intriguing. You know when you get hitched with somebody from different
backgrounds, you are two separate individuals but as adults agree to set up a
home together. There are bound to be points of friction, disagreement and
points of serious agreement as well. You have to find a way to navigate those
narrow areas and be able to overcome prejudices, doubts or influences.
The key is dialogue; we talk. If you close the door of dialogue, just
welcome the deterioration of your relationship. We determined from day one to
make our marriage work, some don’t think like that. Some get into
marriage for marriage sake. If both parties agree to make things work, it makes
things better. I think that is what we have done.
When you initially got married, were you shocked at some of
the things you discovered about marriage or about your wife?
When I got married, I was so pleasantly
surprised that I wondered why I didn’t do it earlier. I found out that it
was a beautiful thing to do. If you don’t get married at a certain stage,
you won’t be able to check the excesses that we men have. Beyond your mother,
its only your wife that can make you come home at a certain time. You don’t
do things in excess because you have someone who looks after you beyond
your mother, somebody you left at home who cares for you. It’s also a
sign of maturity for us as Africans. You grow from being someone’s child
to being someone’s else husband or wife. It’s a responsibility. Our
society thrusts on you and hopes you handle it maturely. When you succeed in
marriage, its always very good
Can you state one quality you admire about her?
She is a home-maker. She is there for the long run. There
are some people who come into marriage as a mercenaries. They come to grab as
much as they can and if it doesn’t work they run away. She is there for the
long haul, in other words she is here to give it all. And make it work and make
her home. For example, if you visit us at home here in Lagos, you will see that
I have a stable home. More so, when you visit my country home you will see the
hallmark of a place where the woman has taken time to build,
saying,”This is my heritage and I must make it comfortable for my family and
anyone who comes”.I won’t go beyond that because there are some things you
can’t find words to explain.
What lessons have you learnt in 15 years of your marriage?
I have learnt that being a man you have a huge
responsibility not just to your wife, but also to your children. This children
come into the world and see you as their hero.The very first
foundation of life starts from the family.If you don’t get it right, then the
society will be worse off for it. The joy of family life is when you see your
children grow in life and they are able to do certain things based on the
knowledge you pass to them.
If you don’t give love, you don’t receive love -Mrs.
Cassandra Udokwu
What is that one quality you admire about your husband?
Sincerity.
What will you regard as the greatest gift he has given to
you?
My children
What lessons have you learnt in your 15 years of marriage?
I have learnt a lot of things like patience, focus and
perseverance. A lot of things like endurance, because when you have somebody
that knows your faults and takes your faults as his what else can you do than
to be humble. He is just a wonderful person. My marriage of 15 years has taught
me a great lesson that love is what you give .What you give is what you will
receive. If you don’t give sincere love you won’t receive sincere love. If you
give pretense, you will receive pretense.
For intending couples and those who are already married,
what will be your advice to them?
They need to know what they want as couples. Do they want
their marriage to work?Do they want people to praise God because of their
marriage? That is what we wanted and that is what we have achieved .We believe
in dialogue and communication.
When you have issues, discuss it among yourselves immediately.
Don’t leave it for tomorrow, because when you leave it for tomorrow, seeds of
discord might be sowed. Once that seed is being planted, then you start
analyzing and digesting .The mind starts thinking about different things
.Communicate when you are together and when you are not together. Marriage is
friendship.
No comments:
Post a Comment