Eat your heart out, Christian Grey.
There’s a new sex-addicted, billionaire erotic fiction star: “soggy Cheeto” Donald Trump.
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| gay erotic fiction starring |
A 22-year-old Los Angeles comedian wrote a steamy story documenting the
GOP presidential candidate’s fictional rendezvous with a bellboy — a
21-page masterpiece that skyrocketed to the top of Amazon’s charts a day
after he wrote it.
“I was drinking, and I thought it would be funny if I write this stupid
and weird story,” author Elijah Daniel told the Daily News. “It took me
four hours and four bottles of wine.”
The book, “Trump Temptation: The Billionaire and The Bellboy,”
became Amazon’s No. 2 humorous erotica novel Friday morning after
debuting on the website Thursday afternoon. Narrated by a young Trump
Hotel bellboy — who is also named Elijah — the work tells the story of
how the real estate mogul met and seduced the hotel hand.
“With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a
soggy Cheeto, his hair unkempt and messy, like a gorgeous rat’s nest. He
was beautiful,” the first chapter reads. “His gorgeous a-- flapped
behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My
hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.
Daniel tweeted about his plane Wednesday evening: “I’m going to get drunk tonight and write an entire donald trump sex novel like 50 shades of grey & put it on amazon tomorrow i swear to god.”
After enthusiastic encouragement from his followers, he decided to hunker down and churn out the work that night.
Fueled by a hefty supply of “trashy mom white zinfandel,” the
22-year-old completed the 21-page work in just about four hours, he
said.
The book — with such lines as “I had to admit it, I wanted his
geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton Jello body” and, “His hands felt like an old
dried out gingerbread house” — was an instant Amazon hit, earning a
slew of 5-star reviews. Daniel said he expects it to hit No. 1 on the
charts soon.
Don’t worry “Trump Temptation” lovers: Daniel is working on two more works to make the story a trilogy.
While Trump will be featured in all of pieces, the writer said cameos from other presidential contenders are possible.
“I’d love to work on something with Bernie Sanders,” he said. “Really, anything is possible.”
Daniel said he doesn’t have strong feelings about any presidential candidate, but he is certainly not a Trump supporter.
His message to his muse? “F--k you,” he said.
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