'Kocktails with Kardashian Khloe' a komplete kalamity

It's komplete krap!

"Kocktails with Khloe" arrived on A+E’s sister FYI channel Wednesday night because TV desperately needed yet another talk/reality/docu-series featuring members of that krazy Kardashian krew.

Kardashian

“Yes bitches it’s another Kardashian show,” Khloe, 31, said to open the program.

Like, OMG — please no.

“Kocktails” was a miserable mishmash of fast talking and kwik kamera kuts that was as difficult to follow as a gum-popping waitress in a loud bar.

Joining Khloe for her kranked up kalamity were a kollection of krazy kool celebs like her supermodel sister Kendall, “Real Housewife” Brandi Glanville, komedian Kym Whitley and actress Aisha Tyler.

 

“Our fame grew into us as we were growing up,” said Kendall at one point while discussing something that had nothing to do with much of anything.

The ladies oogled Sharone Hakman, Khloe’s on-set chef, komplained about dating and then played a game ripped off from the dating web site Tinder that they called Swiper. The women “swiped” left or right on a TV screen that showed people they wanted to “bang” like Michael Fassbender or Cate Blanchet.

“If I were into to girls I would want someone with more meat on them,” said Khloe of the two-time Oscar-winning actress.

“Kocktails” which styles itself as a dinner party, offered lots of dumb games and is filmed in different "rooms" on a set designed to look like Khloe’s home. The women started out in a fake kitchen then moved to a kouch in the living room. Then they sat at a table and had the show’s single compelling half-minute when Tyler started to talk about the lack of diversity at the Oscars this year. Khloe kwickly killed the moment interrupting to say it was time to play another game.

“Kocktails” does get credit for doing something different. The set features 22 hidden kameras like on “Big Brother” so every kough is kaught on kamera. There’s no audience and no crew on set so it’s a talk show that is filmed like a voyeuristic reality show.

But there was no krackling konversation, just a lot of jibber-jabber and ridiculous games like one Khloe called “Do Me” in which she asked the women questions about their sex lives. Later she had Kendall krank-kall their sister Kim Kardashian and joke that the 20-year old model was pregnant.

It was kramp-inducing television.

And just when it kouldn't get any weirder, rapper Snoop Dogg showed up to talk about smoking pot and how he gets high “every single day.” Even the Snoop, who is probably one of the best talk show guests around, kouldn’t save this one.