Preserving the Sanctity of Marriage

To promote excellence in marriage and family life, the Women of Valour, in collaboration with Harriet Newlife Foundation, started an initiative to celebrate exceptional Nigerian Christian women whose marriages serve as an inspiration and sign-post for families, Peace Obi reports

L-R: Founder, Harriet Newlife Foundation/Women of Valour Global Ministry, Lady Lovett Obiakalusi, the recipient, the Golden Woman of the Year Award, Mrs. Faith Nebechukwu Debekeme, her husband, Pa. Mr. Teekee Debekeme and Mr. Benjamin Obiakalusi, at the annual Valiant Women Awards ceremony in Lagos, recently

Since the world began, change has been a constant experience for man. It has brought along with it, the good, the bad and the ugly. And man’s life has equally been greatly influenced by the power of change, thus giving rise for man’s insatiable demand for knowledge and more recently the struggle for power for a firmer control of his world and the affairs. Exposed to avalanche of information and knowledge, man feels empowered enough to exercise unflinching authority in some issues.

And as the year goes by, the world gets more sophisticated and the quest for man to do things differently becomes more intense, thus leading to abandonment of not just some age-long traditions, but he seeks alteration to rules of nature and in some cases, moves to reinvent the wheels. And among the old traditional institutions affected by modernisation is marriage. In recent times, marriage has come under the attack of sophistication, advanced knowledge and quest for a shift from assumed stereotypes to a more modern approach to love and companionship.

Marriage, ordained by God for the primary purpose of companionship between a man and a woman, is today threatened to its foundation; as the demand for alternative routes to companionship and raising of family continues to receive society’s nod. And the only institution ordained by God to fulfill this divine purpose is today wrongly perceived and gradually disregarded.

Piqued by the rate of divorce, number of single parenting which seems to be in vogue and in the light which marriage is seen by the present generation, a marriage counsellor, Mrs. Lovett Obiakalusi through her project, Valiant Women Awards has risen to champion the cause of restoring the sanctity of marriage and family system. In a maiden edition of the Valiant Women Awards, a project put together by the Women of Valour Global Mission in collaboration with Harriet Newlife Foundation, four women were honoured along with a man for their contributions in promoting good family life.

Speaking at the award ceremony which held at the prestigious Sheraton Lagos Hotel, recently, the President of the organisation and initiator of the award, Obiakalusi, lamenting over societies’ quick embrace of ungodly principles, said that people now have little regard for the honour and sanctity of marriage as God designed it to be. Described as appalling the adoption of same sex marriage, the crave for western ways of life, cohabitation of unmarried people, the counsellor noted that immoral practices have continued to gain acceptance and approval of the society. Obiakalusi whose vision is to preserve the oldest institution created by God, hinted that the Valiant Women Awards is to celebrate women who have held on in spite of obstacles to their marriages being exemplary, role models for others to emulate.

Stating that the award recipients will serve as an inspiration and sign-posts for families, Obiakalusi said, “they exemplify the core values of love, respect, submission and being committed to restoring the dignities of families and promoting God ordained plan and purpose for the family institution.

“The Valiant Women Awards was conceptualised to celebrate exceptional Nigerian Christian women, who have been courageous in promoting excellence in marriage and family life. Those who have made significant contributions to advocate, educate and communicate the marriage institution as a veritable platform that can help sustain the sanctity of the society and the country at large. It is the search for outstanding women who are living and performing their roles in marriage/family with God’s principles, trusting that when such women are recognised, the dignity of the family/marriage will be restored.

“We are here to celebrate four women and a man who have in their ways contributed to the society either by sustaining their marriages, performing heroic feats and affecting positively the society through selfless contributions. We have searched and identified these women of honour and when you read about their achievements you will agree with us that they are indeed women of substance, worthy of emulation and women who have lived their lives for the greater glory of the marriage institution.”

Enumerating on the place of good family life in nation building, Obiakalusi said that family is a unit of the community, which in turn culminate into a nation. “The values placed on the marriage institution by our creator when adhered to produces great nations, bringing forth men and women of integrity, honour and patriots who direct and steer the world for the benefit of mankind,” she said.

The Guest Speaker, Pastor Mrs. Bosede Ogunlana, speaking on the topic ‘Finding Joy in the Journey’, re-emphasised the urgent need for harmonious living among couples. Stating that just as the benefits of good family life are to the children, the family and the nation are huge, so also are the consequences of cantankerous relationship.
Speaking further, Ogunlana noted that marriage is a journey that can be blown by different storms and that no marriage exists without a challenge. “Various storms can blow on a marriage; it can be the storm of ignorance, childlessness or infidelity. Realise that there is no marriage without a challenge, but challenges are for the champions.”

Advising couples to show enough commitment towards building a Godly home with mutual respect for each other, the marriage counselor said that every man wants his respect and absence of it could lead to infidelity on his part. “Every man wants to be treated like a king and when he is not getting it at home, he goes elsewhere.
“So, to find joy in your marriage, you have to be resolute and you have to get knowledge. The more you know in life, the more you will grow and better your life will be. Know this, one way or the other, everybody pays for what he does not know.

“But in marriage, the currency we use in paying for our lack of knowledge is much. It is so expensive that people don’t want to pay. People pay with divorce, heartbreak, separation and the children are left to fend for themselves at times and to go through some emotional turmoil. Every child does better if he is brought up under a home full of love and peace; where there is understanding.”

The high point of the evening was the award of Valiant Woman of the Year to Mrs. Busola Jegede. In her citation, it was read that she was being recognised for her contribution in helping women identify business opportunities as well as package them for better success. Jegede, a chartered Accountant and a counselor , is said to have deep understanding of family and marital issues and had impacted positively in building and restoring marriages. She is the founder of Daughters of Destiny Interdenominational Fellowship among many others. Others recipients include, Mrs. Ada Cecilia Ozoadibe, Role Model of the Year, and Late Dr. Mrs. Stella Ameyo Adadevoh, honoured with post-humous Heroine Award for Courage and Sacrifice while a special recognition award was given to Mr. Elisha Attai for promoting women through his women leadership development initiative.

With a pleasant delight and applause among guests, the Golden Woman of the Year Award was announced to Mrs. Faith Nebechukwu Debekeme (86), a retired nurse, civil servant and business woman who resides in Benin City, Edo State. The octogenarian has been married for 58 years to Mr. Teekee Debekeme (89) from Bayelsa State. In her citation, she was said to have sustained her marriage through submission and unflinching love for her husband despite having just one female child in a society that lays a lot emphasis on number of children and particularly on male child. She was also reported to have mentored women of all ages and inspired them with her life stories, testimonies and wisdom.

When asked how she has been able to keep her marriage, Mrs. Debekeme further reeled out some of her guiding principles to include, “Never pretend always be yourself; a wife must build up her family; a wife must be tolerant, forgiving and be ready to overlook many things. A wife must put God first in all things; a wife must listen to her parents – do not meet and marry any man just because you are in love among many other advices.”

Dignitaries that graced the event include, Mrs. Huldah Erumaka, Special Guest of Honour, Mrs. Clara Okoro, Mrs. Taiwo Dimeji-Jojolola, Charles O’ Tudor and many others.