It’s common to feel unsure about starting therapy. People often have
worries about what the process will be like, some of which are connected
to societal myths.
The following is an effort to clarify some of the
ideas about therapy that often hold a person back from seeking help.
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| Photo: -Anxietycentre |
1. My problems are not really that bad.
Oftentimes people feel that therapy should only be reserved as a last
resort or for those with serious problems. While this is certainly an
option, another idea would be that seeking support earlier allows a
person to feel better sooner and to make progress more quickly. In
short: Why wait until things get really bad when it could potentially
cause further difficulty?
2. I should be able to solve my problems on my own.
Just as you would seek a medical consult for a physical problem, a
therapist brings specialized training to help understand and address
problems related to your emotional life. Working out problems in therapy
often becomes a skill that you can incorporate, which will lead to
greater confidence and self-certainty.
3. If I start therapy, will it go on forever?
No! The frequency and duration of therapy is discussed together
between the therapist and patient and is ultimately decided by the
patient. People benefit from a wide range of treatment durations; from
very short term consults to longer term therapy or psychoanalysis depending on the individual and his/her goals and needs.
4. I’ll have to reveal all of my private thoughts to my therapist.
One of the helpful aspects of therapy is that you, as the patient,
decide what and how much to share. Much like setting the frequency and
duration of treatment, you ultimately set the pace of therapy, and your
therapist is there to help the process along in a way that feels
comfortable to you. This collaborative effort builds a trusting
therapeutic relationship and a successful treatment outcome.
5. I’ll feel judged.
People often feel vulnerable when talking about their feelings. They
worry about what the therapist will think or feel about what is being
shared. However, your therapist is not there to judge you, but rather to
listen and offer a unique perspective. If you are concerned about
feeling judged, it would be important to talk this over with your
therapist, so that your feelings can be understood and do not interfere
with getting the help that you deserve.
6. I’m concerned that my therapist will become a “crutch”.
Let’s be clear. It is NOT the goal of therapy to foster a dependent
relationship between the patient and the therapist. In fact, the
therapeutic relationship is intended to be collaborative. Overtime,
people find that the ways of understanding
and feeling better learned in therapy, become tools that a person can
utilize independent of the therapist. When therapy ends, a person needs
to feel confident that they have the ability to be more of an active
participant in their own emotional life. This includes, but is not
limited to, trusting their capacity to manage feelings, to solve
problems and to make decisions.
7. If I talk about something, I’ll be obligated to make certain changes.
That is not the case. There is a difference between thoughts and
actions. For example, you might come into therapy to address
difficulties in a relationship. As you begin to share your feelings
about the relationship, you might feel worried that if you get “in
touch” with negative feelings, you will be compelled to end the
relationship. In actuality, by talking with a therapist you may also
discover a new perspective and/or additional options that were not
previously apparent.
8. I’m worried about what I might learn about myself.
One of the benefits of therapy is enhanced satisfaction in our
professional and personal lives. In fact, it is often that which we do
not fully understand about ourselves that most interferes with happiness
and success. Self-awareness allows people to gain more control over
their own lives. For this reason, it is important to let your therapist
know that you are concerned about what you will learn about yourself,
so that you and your therapist can work at a pace most comfortable to
you. Ultimately, the focus of your therapy is up to you.
9. If I feel mixed about starting therapy, could that mean it’s not for me?
It is common to have mixed feelings about starting therapy. Our
instincts lead us to stay away from uncomfortable thoughts and
feelings. Hesitation about beginning therapy may indicate the presence
of something very important to understand about ourselves. For that
reason, taking your time to explore these concerns is recommended. This
allows emotional energy to be directed toward gaining greater benefit
from therapy, rather than towards pushing away difficult emotions.
Benefits of therapy include:
- Greater self-confidence
- Enhanced mood
- Reduced anxiety and depression
- More effective decision-making
- Improved relationships
- Increased work satisfaction
About the Authors:
Mary FitzGerald, LCSW-C. is a licensed clinical social worker and
psychoanalyst with a private practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland. Ms.
FitzGerald works with adults and children in individual psychotherapy and psychoanalysis. She also provides parenting consultation and support for married or single parents. .
Rebecca Landau-Millin, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist in private
practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland. Dr. Landau-Millin works with adults
in individual and couples therapy, and parenting consultation and
support for married or single parents. She also provides psychotherapy
to children from preschool age through the teenage years.
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