You know you've had an amazing sex dream when you
wake up feeling ridiculously happy. If only you could make it happen
every night, right?! In a perfect world, you would. But in the real
world (sigh), you pretty much get the dream you get, including the one
where you’re naked in your school cafeteria.
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| PHOTO: Rebel Circus |
While
you might never be able to fully control your dreams, it's absolutely
possible to train yourself to have more sex dreams, says W. Christopher
Winter, MD, a board-certified sleep medicine researcher, neurologist of Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine, and author of The Sleep Solution.
Experts don’t know exactly what causes sex dreams, but it’s generally
thought that dreams have something to do with what’s on your mind,
either consciously or subconsciously. Sex dreams, then, could be a
reflection of what you’ve been thinking about during the day or even
repressed desires, says Dr. Winter.
There are obvious perks to having sex dreams, like
getting laid without needing to lift a finger (kinda), but sex dreams
can also help you relax, lower your stress levels, and give you a sense
of calm when you wake up, says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, a sexologist and
author of The New Sex Bible.
They can also help give you greater insight into your sexual desires
and inspire fantasies to act out with your partner later, she explains.
With all those potential benefits, it's clear why
you'd want to have as many sex dreams as humanly possible (as if you
needed to be convinced). These tips might actually make it happen more
often.
1. Think sexy thoughts.
Because your dreams are usually some kind of
reflection of your thoughts when you’re awake (whether you’re aware of
them or not), thinking about sex during the day can translate into your
dreams at night. "If you can constantly remind yourself of the topic,
you’ll be better off," says Dr. Winter.
2. Visualize your perfect dream.
Think
about your perfect sex dream and actually picture that fantasy playing
out. "The more you can make it seem real, the more likely you are to
have that dream at night," says Dr. Winter.
3. Act it out IRL.
Dreams
tend to reflect what’s going on in your life, so it doesn’t hurt to try
to play out your fantasy (as best you can) while you’re awake, says Dr.
Winter. While you can do this all in your mind, it can also be helpful
to set the stage—mood lighting, candles, sexy music, vibrator—and go to
town. The hope is that your body will pick up on the physical cues you
give it and render them again at night.
4. Slip into sexy lingerie.
Besides
acting your dream out IRL, you can trigger your brain into having sexy
nighttime thoughts by sleeping in silky lingerie—or nothing at all.
"It’s important that when you go to bed, you have some kind of a routine
for setting yourself up for the dream," says Dr. Winter.
5. Set up the dream as you’re lying in bed.
Play
out the dream, step by step, as you're lying in bed, says Dr. Winter.
Think about meeting someone at a hotel bar: what you’re wearing, what
they’re wearing, and what you’re discussing. Then, segue into the
naughty part, focusing on the details. At some point, you should drift
off into (super hot) dreamland.
6. Practice, practice, practice.
It's
unlikely that you’re automatically going to have the sex dream you
want the first time you try (although if it does, awesome!). "You’ll
want to rehearse the same thing every night," says Dr. Winter. Don’t be
discouraged if it takes time.
7. Keep a journal by your bedside.
As soon as you wake up, write down what you dreamt
about. "Even people who say they don’t dream will write something down
from the night before," says Dr. Winter. Your brain dumps information
over time—even within minutes after you wake up from a dream—to make
room for more important stuff, so you’ll want to act fast.
This
is an important step in having more detailed dreams. If you journaled
that you walked into a hotel bar, saw someone interesting, and then woke
up, that can help you build on the narrative for next time.
Brb, gotta go catch some Zzzz...
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