Sometimes, you only have a limited amount of time to do the deed. But a tight schedule doesn't mean speedy sex has to be anything less than satisfying. In fact, the urgency of quickie sex can make for better romps.
The key, says Janet Brito, PhD, a certified sex therapist in Honolulu, is prioritizing pleasure. In some cases, this calls for ditching penetration altogether and instead focusing on oral sex, manual clitoral stimulation, or a high school–style makeout, if that’s what gets you going. Even with a time constraint, all that matters is that you get what you want out of the experience and that you’re able to connect with the person you’re sharing those few precious minutes with.
Whatever form a quickie takes for you and your partner, there are plenty of tricks to make sure it's one to remember—even if it barely lasts five minutes. Below are the golden rules for making your quickie sex count every single time.
1. Make time for the buildup.
A quickie doesn't need to be a one-and-done thing. In fact, Brito says the buildup is a major part of the quickie sex, as it makes the main event so much better. Send your partner sexy photos during the day, or text about what you can't wait to do to them when you meet up during your lunch break.
Though your encounter will be a brief one, take all the time you need to get yourself aroused with some teasing and flirtation beforehand. Not only is it half the fun, but you'll also come up with ideas that you can then execute in a jiffy.
2. Consider your location for quickie sex.
A quickie has it's own distinct name for a reason. It's quicker than your usual routine, sure but it also forces you to mix things up when you prioritize certain moves and get frisky during times of the day you normally wouldn't. So why not put a spin on where you do the deed, too?
Ditch the bed, says Brito. Get it on in the shower before your partner heads out the door for the day, or hop onto the countertop after a one-on-one dinner, or straddle your partner on the couch if movie night just puts you in the mood. By not limiting yourself location-wise, you'll open yourself up to more spontaneity than usual. Seriously, if you want your partner right here, right now and you're near a secluded spot, go for it.
One major thing to keep in mind, however, is privacy and legality, says Brito. Make sure wherever you are, no one can walk in on you or report you for lewd acts and indecent exposure. Instead of going for it behind a tree after a run, in a car, or a public restroom, read up on laws where you live, or just, you know, get a room...bed optional.
3. Go ahead and masturbate pre-quickie.
No matter how experienced you are in the sexual department, it always takes at least a little while before you and your partner find a rhythm. So if you have a chance, touch yourself before the quickie. It'll get you warmed up and make it easier for you to get aroused (read: wet) so that you and your partner can get straight to the good stuff, says Brito.
4. Dress for easy access.
No one wants to spend time getting undressed, so save yourself a minute or two by wearing a dress or skirt you can quickly lift up or pants you can quickly push down (leggings, anyone?). "Leave the jumpsuits and ultra-tight skinny jeans for a different day," Brito suggests. Plus, the sense of urgency to get spontaneous sex started when you're speedily pushing articles of clothing out of the way makes it that much hotter.
5. Lube up before the quickie really gets going.
Regardless of whether your quickie sex was planned or not, one thing's for sure, everything's about to go down fast—which means you might require a little more time to get wet on your own, especially if you didn't have time to masturbate.
That's where lube comes in. "Lube is an essential bedroom tool," says Brito. "It takes away the pressure to get aroused quickly, reduces pain and friction, and adds overall comfort." She even suggests stocking up on travel-size lubricants, so you'll always be prepared when that ~feeling~ comes over you.
6. Don't focus on your orgasm.
The same way intercourse doesn't have to be your ultimate goal during a quickie, neither does climaxing. If you get too caught up in the end result, you'll miss out on the pleasure that comes before the orgasm. And considering you only have a few minutes, that would be a pretty big bummer.
Instead, prioritize connecting with your partner, concentrating on the pleasure, and just having fun instead. Use the time to stimulate your favorite erogenous zones that you might otherwise rush past or just enjoy the feel of your partner's lips on yours during your makeout sesh. You're more likely to get that O when you're not obsessing over it, anyway.
7. Bring in a vibrator.
If you're pressed for time, resorting to your go-to moves and positions might feel like the best option, says Brito. But by bringing a vibrator into the mix, you can add variety and novelty to the experience—always a good thing.
So you're always prepared, consider investing in a wearable vibrator, like one made for your undies or one that you can wear around your neck (like the Crave Vesper). Or keep a handy bullet vibrator in your bag for emergencies. Use it to stimulate your clitoris while your partner enters you from behind, suggests Jill McDevitt, PhD, a sexual wellness coach.
8. Know the best positions ahead of time.
There are a bunch of positions that are especially great for quickie sex, but if you and your partner have one that does the trick every time, go for it, says Brito. Knowing what works for you is crucial when it's crunch time, though don't be afraid to switch positions if you can spare a few extra minutes.
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