The nine-time Grammy award-winning artist Mary J. Blige has revealed an
essential rule about friendships outside of her marriage when she was
interviewed by Stella magazine: “All females for me, all guys for him.” Ouch.
Blige claims that a husband having “female friends” or a wife having
“guy friends” never works in a marriage. Apparently, her husband is on board
with the terms and conditions applied in their relationship.
Seriously? I thought we lived in the 21st century.
It could be because Blige is an artist who has been living in the
spotlight. After many years of working in the music industry, she has
collaborated with beautiful and talented men like herself. I would be lying if
I said I didn’t dream about the yummy Trey Songz, an artist Blige has featured
on her 2010 track “We Got Hood Love.”
Her husband Kendu Isaacs, who also happens to be her manager, is
probably used to being around equally beautiful and talented female celebrities
like Blige. In an industry driven by sex, looks and money, it probably brings a
perspective to a marriage that the majority of the population is unfamiliar
with.
Agreed. Temptation can be a bitch for any relationship, but completely
eliminating members of the opposite sex from one’s circle of friends seems both
extreme and almost impossible.
Surely, Blige did not make her millions by avoiding friendships with
other male music artists and producers. How else would a person thrive in the
cutthroat music industry? Her career would not be where it is today if she
avoided mingling with male professionals at album release parties and cocktail
mixers.
In normal work situations, we are constantly interacting with members
of the opposite sex: meetings, group projects, customers, etc. Creating a
healthy and connected work environment requires us to get to know our
co-workers, both male and female. We cannot simply ignore them completely. In
order for things to run smoothly, we have to at least be friendly with them.
Outside of the workplace it is just as unlikely. Even if we were to
limit ourselves to spending time with only female (or male) friends, surely
they might also have a significant other of their own. As a friend, it seems
like a selfish move to tell them, “Hey, never introduce me to your love
interest. If I develop a friendship with them, I might be too tempted to sleep
with him (or her).” Come on now, do you really lack the ability to control your
sexual cravings?
What happened to basing a relationship on trust? Perhaps that is what
Blige’s marriage lacks.
In order to put such a rule in place, someone was clearly burned in a
past relationship. Or perhaps one of these two lovebirds did the burning.
Either way, maybe these two just are not "relationship material."
Having control over each other’s social groups is not a way to live.
Friendships with the opposite sex are inevitable.
Newsflash, Blige. Not every woman is out to screw your husband, and not
every man is plotting to jump in them jeans.
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