VAIDS

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Should You Be Honest with Her about Your Sexual Past?



She asked me 
how many partners I’ve had. It’s a lot. Help! 
— Jeff, Detroit, MI. 
Go ahead and lie. (Yes, you heard me.) I’ve never understood why people fixate on numbers. You’ve got nothing to gain by copping to your Don Draper phase. She’ll either obsess on her rank in your lineup or wonder which other women she knows on that list. 


So pick a nice, average digit. Maybe nine? Then steer the conversation back to more important things, like the sex you want now.

My girlfriend slows me down when we go on runs together. What’s my move?
Jim, Memphis, TN
Tell her it’s your “me” time and that your runs help you reset—just don’t be a jerk about it. Odds are she already knows your warmup laps crush her personal bests.
But even so, unless you’re training for the 4×100 relay in Rio, why not shift gears once in a while and invite her along? She might start to catch up.

My wife wants us to have secret sex at parties. Am I being lame if I say no?
Chris, New York, NY
Yes, but only if you’re failing in other ways to give her what she really wants: passion.
The next time you two are out, tell her you want to leave immediately—because you just have to have her. Throw open the door to your place, urgently push her up against the wall, kiss her deeply, and start your own party.
Her mind will be a long way from your buddy’s coat closet.

I met her folks... and apparently did not impress them. Am I screwed?
— Clint, Oakland, CA. 
You’re not doomed yet. Disastrous meet-the-parents moments are practically a rite of passage: One time, I could barely form complete sentences at the dinner table. I survived. All her parents should care about is that she’s happy and that you’re treating her right.
So just keep the flowers, date nights, and laughs coming, and they’ll give you a mulligan the next time you meet up.

My fiancée wants to invite one of her exes to our wedding. Weird, right?
— Trevor, Wilmington, DE. 
If his RSVP is going to make you feel uncomfortable, then you have every right to say so. After all, it’s your big day too. Otherwise, greet him with a handshake like the gentleman you are, and swallow a bit of pride.
Your confidence will only reinforce to the bride why you’re the one who landed her for life.
(Don't be afraid of asking about her dating past—you could learn a lot about her wants and needs. Here are 6 Questions to Ask about Her Ex.)

Is it rude to sleep on the couch when she’s sick?
— Brett, Jacksonville, FL.
You’re in the clear, Brett. When a guy I’m dating gets sick, I’m not only sleeping on the couch but also disinfecting the house hourly and doing the “air high five” instead of a goodnight kiss.

Your obligations include running out for tissues and cough drops, supplying bottomless tea and chicken soup, and cuing up some Broad City reruns. Do all that, and she’ll be dragging you back to those bedsheets in no time. Just make sure you wash them first, okay?

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