To be clear, Mark Manson gives a f--k.
Several, in fact. In no particular order, the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
gives a f--k about his writing, his career, his wife, his family and
friends, his health, studying philosophy and psychology, video games,
cats and whiskey.
Which is to say, the good stuff, the important stuff, the stuff that
really matters. (Except video games. Video games are stupid.) Or, as
Manson writes in his book, the f--k-worthy.
On the cover, Manson calls his philosophy — that life is hard, you’re
not special, happiness is a hollow goal and therefore you should make
sure you’re focused on the truly worthwhile — “a counterintuitive
approach to living a good life,” and that’s not wrong. You could say,
his book is the foul-mouthed, funny-as-hell, dead-on elephant on the
best-seller lists. Sandwiched between slightly generic 30-day
quick-fixes and magical tidying manuals, his volume of “personal
development that doesn’t suck” packs quite a punch. With advice like,
“Most of us are pretty average at most things we do,” “Problems are a
constant in life” and “Rejection makes your life better,” it’s the piss
in the positive-affirmation self-help punchbowl.
And Manson wouldn’t have it any other way. As “just a guy with a website”
he’s been thumbing his nose at the self-help industry for years, first
as part of the “manosphere,” doling out dating advice to 20-something
guys (shtick: try honesty), then when women started emailing him he
decided to write general life advice, for everyone. Today, he’s got more
than 2 million visitors a month and a subscription-content model that
supports him, his Brazilian wife and a new apartment in New York.
Not bad for a humble, 32-year-old guy with just a BA from Boston
University. And if you said he’s got a lot to be humble about, Manson
would agree. Contra the self-help industry, “I don’t want to even
pretend that I have all the answers,” he tells the Daily News. “I know
that your everyday Joe or Jane doesn’t have time to be looking at the
research on happiness or anxiety or motivation, so I see it as my job to
do that — and then translate some of those ideas into language that
your average, overworked 26-year-old will understand.”
By the looks of things, they do. A recent stop at Bookmark Shoppe in
Brooklyn had people lined up outside the door. Not that Manson’s letting
the success go to his head. “I’m always aware of the possibility that I
could just be the flavor of 2015-2016,” he says, assuring us he’s still
totally average.
“If you start getting all up your own ass,” he observes, “and thinking you’re amazing, that’s when stuff falls apart.”
While Manson is skeptical at best about the self-help industry,
that’s not to say there aren’t works out there that can help a self.
Here are some he recommends:
- “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace
- “Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed, is fantastic
- “The Happiness Trap” by Russell Harris
- “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray
- Anything by Alan Watts
- Bukowski’s poem “Bluebird” is pretty powerful as well
- I’m also a big fan of zen buddhism and existential philosophy.
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