Most fake pastas suck; quinoa doesn't

If your body type is aligned with the phrase "not terrible but definitely enjoys pasta," quinoa pasta could be your answer. It is the best pasta alternative, full stop.

Most of the other healthy alternatives, of course, come with a catch. Although black bean pasta packs a health punch with 25 grams of protein, it tastes like beans (duh).

It can be mushy and doughy regardless of cook time - not at all al dente. Spiralized vegetables like zucchini and beets, as well as the appropriately named spaghetti squash, have similar issues. You have to really be on board with their strong vegetable flavors and forgo any texture hopes.

A quick side-by-side nutrition facts comparison of brown rice pasta with the traditional pasta I have (hide) at home showed the same carb and calorie totals. Brown rice pasta is, at least, a gluten-free whole grain but, let's face it, it tastes like cardboard.

Quinoa pasta is the best alternative out there because it tastes exactly like regular pasta while actually being good for you. It's a whole grain with a solid helping of your daily fiber and protein. There's an inherently nutty flavor to quinoa that's easily masked by all of your favorite sauces.

When picking up a box, be sure to read the label. Many brands are actually a little bit of quinoa and a lot of corn, making them sneakily unhealthy. "If it's not 100 percent quinoa flower then it will have the same negative effect on your blood sugar as processed white flour," said nutritionist and owner of NAO Nutrition Nikki Ostrower.

Give Andean Dream a try, with its six grams of protein per two ounce serving. Long, thin shapes like spaghetti go best with light sauces like shrimp scampi. Fusilli wants a nice smooth pesto that can get lodged in its twirls. Hearty rigatoni is perfect for a healthy turkey Bolognese.

Still, says Ostrower, if you find yourself craving the real thing, don’t sweat it. "If pasta's your jam, and you're going to get it once in a blue, that's fine. You just have to be okay with feeling bloated and lethargic afterward." (Seriously, people: Give quinoa a try!)