Running a business is an inherently emotional experience. Even the
most stoic leaders are bound to find themselves becoming invested not
only in outcomes, but in people and processes as well.
While emotional leadership is often regarded as a liability, lack of personal investment can also bring about negative outcomes.
I’ve learned that the best leaders are those who can recognize
emotionally-charged situations, rise above the passions of the movement,
and maintain a level head. Good leaders are quick to listen and slow to
anger.
Listen first
As much as we work to avoid it, all
leaders inevitably run into situations outside of their control. Its an
inescapable aspect of running a business—clients, employees, partners,
and your product will regularly push you to the very edge of your
patience.
While it can be easy to fly off the handle or make a snap decision,
I’ve learned that slowing down to listen can help defuse even the most
frustrating of situations.
Early on at BodeTree,
I was notorious for getting incredibly frustrated with our software
development process. We would outline a task that needed to be completed
by a certain date, set a timeline, and get to work. However, without
fail, the timeline would come and go, and we would have little to
nothing to show for it.
Over time, I came to find out that the features I was asking for
weren’t as simple and straightforward as I thought. Much of what I was
looking to accomplish was dependent on older code that needed to be
updated before we could move forward—hence the delays.
My team didn’t always know this was the case until they were
neck-deep in the project, causing things to slow down and timelines to
slip. Once I stopped and listened to their needs, I realized we needed
to set better internal expectations and manage projects more
effectively. Had I refused to listen and instead chosen the path of
brute force, I would never have been able to help the team move forward.
Always be slow to anger
Leaders often mistake anger for power
and fear for respect. But as we can see readily in the news these days,
angry bosses and leaders are rarely effective. Having a good yell may
feel cathartic in the moment, but it creates a toxic environment and
erodes your standing amongst your team.
Its critical for leaders to be patient and rise above the fleeting
passions of the moment. My experience has taught me that there are only
two paths that are appropriate when faced with frustrating
circumstances.
The first choice is to let anger pass and then act. I would always
rather guide people to a positive outcome than be “right” in any
situation. Sometimes that means recognizing the fact that someone or
something may be angering you, but having the maturity to let it slide.
The second choice is to be truly slow
to anger. This process requires firm, clear and concise expectations
from the start. If people or products continue to perform poorly,
document the situation and move towards a permanent resolution. The key
here is to be firm without ever flying off the handle.
With that being said, leaders should
be allowed to get angry from time to time. In fact, if you find yourself
in a conflict-free environment all the time, you can be sure that
something is amiss.
Never be passive-aggressive
Nothing is perfect and leaders have an
obligation to voice their thoughts and opinions. In fact, those who
hold in their anger do a great disservice to themselves and their team.
Passive-aggressive managers are most certainly worse than leaders with
hair-trigger tempers.
Everyone makes mistakes, and good
leaders recognize the need for compassion. The mere act of listening
usually solves any issue at hand. If it doesn’t, a firm yet fair
approach is warranted. It’s ok for leaders to get angry and downright
healthy for them to confront problems as they encounter them. However,
remember that good leaders never fly off the handle, no matter what.
Chris Myers is the Cofounder and CEO of BodeTree and the author of Enlightened Entrepreneurship.
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