'I'm A Sex Addict—Here's What Finally Made Me Get Help'

When Shannon*, now age 29, went through heartbreak in 2011 over the man she was seeing on and off for two years, who she lost her virginity to, it led her to explore casual sex through dating sites like OKCupid and Match.com. It all seemed like fun until she realized she was losing track of the number of men she’d slept with—and her friends started to voice concern.

Back in 2014 when I was 26, any night was date night because I didn’t need time to primp and prepare.
I didn’t care what the person thought of me. I was after sex. I was living in Washington, D.C., at the time, and there was definitely a hook-up culture to support my habit.

Mondays were nice for dates because they broke up the boredom of the first day back to work. What better way to blast through a scary inbox than thoughts of drinks with someone new? I liked to initiate dates and coo to the stranger on Match.com that he was the reason it’d be worth getting up on a Monday. It wasn’t true, but they loved hearing it.
Tuesdays were good for casual hookups, too. Since I would usually reserve Mondays for my rest days from the gym, I still yearned for physical release. If I hadn’t already gone out on a date Monday (although let’s face it, I’ve done back-to-back dates before, sometimes on the same night), I’d go out under the guise of Tuesday Brewsday. Most men love beer, not to mention a woman who drinks it.

Wednesdays were perfect for going out with someone I met on Saturday without looking too desperate. Unless of course, I had already slept with him that past weekend.
Thursdays were my favorite: great bar specials and only one more day to the weekend (with the next workday to keep me in check). We’d talk about weekend plans, get silly drunk before 9 PM, have sex, and then I’d take the last train home.
I could keep going, but I’d rather not.

Before I realized I had a sexual addiction, I never had an off-season. One time a friend said she wanted to set me up with a friend of hers, but stated that I was in the major leagues and her friend was junior varsity. Not in terms of looks, but just intensity. My friend had only a vague idea of my number of partners, and while it’s not hall-of-fame worthy, it was increasing too quickly. (I think it’s now around 60.)

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