Who do you think goes first most often: men or women?
Most
of us have been in the position of wondering and worrying when it will
be okay to say "I love you" to someone for the first time in their
relationship. Opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable is
scary, and when you have no idea whether the other person will excitedly
respond with an enthusiastic, "I love you, too!" or if they might just
nod and smile or stare back blankly, it can be downright terrifying.
No
wonder we spends so much darn time reading relationship advice columns
while trying to figure out if saying "I love you" too early (or too
late!) could potentially doom your blooming romance. It's insane the
power that three little words can have, but nevertheless they do.
Which is why scientists recently conducted a survey in which they asked 1,000 men and women in the UK,
"How long do you wait before you say 'I love you' for the first time?"
While they didn't come away with a definitive timeline for you to follow, they did arrive at some pretty interesting results.
Over half of the survey's respondents said that they prefer to wait
at least three months before saying "I love you" for the first time.
The
study also breaks this down by gender, which I have to admit, yielded
some pretty unexpected responses, at least, unexpected from me.
According to the results:
"When
it comes to declaring your love for one another, over half the people
surveyed would wait at least 3 months before braving the magic words.
1/3 of women would also have no problem saying it between 1-3 months of a
new relationship. But the real discovery is that men are twice as
likely as women to declare their love after just 1 week."
One
third of the women polled felt that saying "I love" between 1 and 3
months into a relationship could be totally fine. However, men
being twice (TWICE) as likely as women to say "I love you" after just
ONE WEEK of being with a person?!
Dayum, gentlemen, slow your proverbial roll, am I right?
Personally, I've always been of the opinion that if you wait to say
"I love you" until you can't NOT say it, chances are that by the time
you finally do your partner will have been waiting to hear it or say it
themselves and will therefore collapse in a pile of relief and loving
delight.
Because the truth is, there's no such thing as a "right" time.
There's
the time that feels right to you. You'll never have a guarantee
that the person on the receiving end of those three little words,
either. The only way to know if it's right is to go ahead and give it a try.
Hitting
important milestones in your romantic relationship is part of the
process of getting more intimate and fostering your romantic
connection. Moving at a pace dictated by the people around you or by
what you read in magazines or on the Internet will only distract you
from being able to pay the kind of attention necessary in order to
understand your own feelings and those of your partner.
YOU set the rules.
By Rebecca Jane Stokes
Always trust your gut, and understand that a huge part of being in love is taking a leap.
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