- Help without being asked
Husbands, you need to understand something: Foreplay starts outside the
bedroom. It can often begin at the kitchen sink when you say you’re going to do
the dishes tonight. It can occur when you remember to take out the garbage
before she has to nag you to do it. Nothing is more sexy to an exhausted new
mother than watching her thoughtful husband change the diapers. It’s one of the
least known mysteries about women.
- Make it romantic
Men have a lot of scenarios running in their heads about the act of sex long
before they’re married, whereas women imagine it with a loving closeness. Women
tend to think more romantically -- candles, soft music, a warm embrace, loving
words. Men tend to think more sexually -- skip all the nonsense and get to the
good part. Women generally like sex because it makes them feel a closer
connection to their husband. Men like sex because it’s … sex. Women want the
loving experience; men need the physical release.
- Make her feel beautiful
Most men are very visual. They want to see a naked woman. Men are attracted to
the female form. Most women generally would prefer to “do it” in the dark,
mostly because they don't feel good about their own body.
A sexy negligee or nightie is fun to receive as a gift every now and then, but
if those are the only kinds of clothing she ever receives from you, she’s going
to get annoyed. She’ll often be more thrilled with a new outfit she can
actually wear out in public and brag to her friends that you gave her. She
wants to be able to talk to her girlfriends about how thoughtful you are.
- Be understanding, not demanding
Men often enjoy sex more than women. It’s a sad, frustrating fact. Anatomically
speaking, men are designed to orgasm every time. For women, it takes a lot more
physical and mental work. Physically, it can actually be painful for women
sometimes; that rarely happens with men. Emotionally speaking, women have to
think about getting pregnant before and after every single act. A woman’s
entire life can be altered with only one encounter, and she knows it. That
rarely occurs to a man when he’s in the mood. A woman has to consider birth
control measures every single day (especially if she is on “the pill”), a fact
that might even make her feel resentful about sex.
There will be times when she would rather sleep than have sex. She would prefer
the encounter to be short, and so she offers it to you as a loving gift. Accept
the gift and don’t be offended if that’s all that happens. Her lack of passion
and orgasm doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. But don’t be greedy about it; the
more often she doesn’t “receive satisfaction,” the more likely it is that she
will never want sex. It then becomes a chore to her. Women want sex to be a
special occasion, but if you demand it every day, it can become a task that she
dreads. Pace yourself.
- Tell her what you like about her body
She will be more in the mood when she knows she can turn you on. OK, so what if
she’s had so many pregnancies that her figure now looks a little more ghoulish
than girlish? Tell her what you love about her body, and be sincere. Remember
that neither one of you is perfect.
Women often complain that all men want is one thing and that their evaluation
of a woman is based entirely on physical attributes. Be careful in your praise
of her external gifts to include some of her inner qualities so she knows it is
the whole person you love.
You know when you watch some commercial on TV with a catchy jingle and then you
can’t get that song out of your head all day? If the power of suggestion can
affect us that much from a source we really don’t care about, think about how
much it would affect us if it came from a source we really did care about. When
your sweetheart hears you complain about what a terrible cook she is or how you
wish her hair looked, then she begins to believe it. The opposite is true too;
when she hears what a thoughtful wife she is, or caring mother, then she
becomes those.
She wants to believe that you will keep pursuing her even after you’ve won her.
She wants to feel like she’s worth it to you. She wants to feel safe with you
and know that you'll never leave.
Sexual intimacy should be a beautiful expression of love, not a power play.
Showing kindness and trust during the day can enhance what happens at night.
Husbands, you need to understand something: Foreplay starts outside the bedroom. It can often begin at the kitchen sink when you say you’re going to do the dishes tonight. It can occur when you remember to take out the garbage before she has to nag you to do it. Nothing is more sexy to an exhausted new mother than watching her thoughtful husband change the diapers. It’s one of the least known mysteries about women.
- Make it romantic
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