It is
normal for financial experts to talk about money as if it is merely a
matter of naira and kobo. While this may be true, when you are preparing
a profit and loss statement for a business, it is definitely not the
case when you are dealing with families, especially families with a baby
on the way. Emotions come into play. This is why figuring out household
finances can sometimes be such a knotty affair; there are so many
issues to deal with than just money alone.
When you have a baby, your own childhood and the way you
were raised will greatly influence how you act as a parent. Perhaps you
were an only child. Because of this, you may want to have only one child
yourself. Of course, the reverse may also be true and you may want to
have a big family, so your children will have siblings you never had.
If you did not have something as a child, you may feel
strongly that you must give this thing you lacked to your child. This
could be virtually anything: money, toys, a big house, a college
education, or love. By the same token, if you had a rich abundance as a
child, you may be determined to provide the same bounty to your
offspring.
Your partner may be focused inwardly on the baby and not
thinking about money as much as you are. Talking about it may initially
scare or intimidate her. She may feel defensive. Reassure her by
explaining that you simply feel the need to check in with her and stay
in sync on this important subject that concerns you both.
You bring a certain amount of emotional baggage into
parenthood. This holds true for your partner as well, and her baggage
isn’t the same as yours. Always keep this in mind when you talk with her
about money. You both may work up a great deal of emotional heat on
topics that, from a strictly financial point of view, are relatively
unimportant, but these issues lie at the core of how you see yourself as
a parent and your expectations for your child.
Your partner had her own unique childhood experiences.
These experiences, whether positive or negative, will help shape her
view about how money should be spent, just as your childhood informs
your view. Some of the expectations you have about raising children are
formed out of your own experience. Other people’s experiences and what
they have told you will also play a role. Television programs and the
media may have led you to create some unrealistic expectations of what
family life is like. All of this will emerge when you talk about the
often emotionally volatile subject of money.
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