Has your whole sex life been a lie? We surveyed over 1,200 Women’s Health readers about their least favorite sex positions, and you won’t like the results: Women rated common moves like doggy style, reverse cowgirl, and 69 as the worst sex positions.
Chances are, those sex staples have been in your arsenal since you bought your first condom.
Men have long relied on standard moves like missionary because they’re
easy, efficient, and feel great—but as it turns out, women have quietly
been cursing them the whole time.
To pinpoint the source of female frustration, we consulted with top experts to uncover why your five favorite positions just aren’t cutting it—and the upgrades you must make to satisfy her sex drive.
1. Doggy Style
Why she’s not into it:
Put simply, it’s too painful. “The issue here is you may be ramming her
cervix, which is why deep penetration is often more harmful than hot,”
says Sara Gottfried, M.D., OB/GYN, author of The Hormone Cure.
Plus,
if you’re fully removing yourself, then re-entering her, it often hurts
her chances at staying fully lubricated, Dr. Gottfried explains.
Women in our survey also said doggy’s not intimate enough. Even though rough sex can be awesome if you’re both into it, most women are looking for more of a connection during sex, Dr. Gottfried says.
While you may have a blast admiring her assets when she’s on all fours, her view of the bed isn’t nearly as stimulating.
How to fix it: To
prevent the bump and grind from getting painful, keep your thrusts
short and shallow, rather than deep and fast. Shallow thrusts will
stimulate the front third of her vagina, which is the most sensitive
part, says Rebecca Rosenblat, a sex therapist and the author of Seducing Your Man.
Up
the intimacy factor by running your hands through her hair, down her
spine, and occasionally leaning forward to kiss and suck on her neck.
And
don’t forget the clitoral stimulation, Dr. Gottfried advises. Just
because you’re focusing on her backside, doesn’t mean you should neglect
her most sensitive spots.
2. Woman on Top
Why she’s not into it: One word: insecurity. According to our survey, a majority of women feel more self-conscious when they’re on top.
Dr.
Gottfried says women often worry about what their stomachs or breasts
look like from where you’re laying. And even though you think she looks
like a rock star, even the tiniest shred of doubt can put out her fire.
How to fix it: Switch into a side-by-side position like “The Spork.” Have her lie on her back, and raise her right leg.
Slot
yourself between her legs at a 90-degree angle and ease inside her.
This way, her legs will form the tines of a spork utensil.
3. Reverse Cowgirl
Why she’s not into it: Because it’s hard for her to climax like that—and not everything fits when she’s riding in reverse.
“Reverse
cowgirl may seem sexy and adventurous, but when you actually try to
enter her, things might not fit the way you think that they should,”
says Jen Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of
The Sex Drive Solution for Women.
It often boils down to
the curvature of your penis not coinciding with the angle of her
vagina, Dr. Landa says. Realistically, any time you bend your penis too
far at the base, it’s not only uncomfortable for her, it becomes
dangerous for you.
In other words, you can break your junk.
How to fix it: If you’re in it for the view, switch to doggy. The fit’s more practical, and you can help her reach orgasm, says Dr. Landa.
But
if you still want the naughtiness factor, put the doggy to bed. Do
this: Stand up, have her bend forward, place her hands on a stable mirror, then enter her from behind.
You’ll still be able to manually stimulate her, but now you can both use the mirror to your advantage.
4. Missionary
Why she’s not into it: It
doesn’t hit the right spots. “And if you’re on the smaller end of the
spectrum, this position doesn’t really accentuate your size,” Dr. Landa
says.
How to fix it: Try using the Coital
Alignment Technique (CAT)—just dont call it that in bed. The position is
similar to missionary, except your body is farther up and to one side.
(So rather than being chest to chest, your chest is near her shoulders.)
Have
her bend her legs about 45 degrees to tilt her hips up, which causes
the base of your shaft to maintain constant contact with her clitoris.
Even though the name is a mouthful, the move is proven to work: Women who were unable to climax in regular missionary were 56 percent more likely to climax using CAT, according to a study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.
5. 69
Why she’s not into it: She’s,
well, preoccupied. According to our survey results, women say it’s too
difficult to focus on receiving pleasure when they have to concentrate
on giving it.
And pleasure and reaching climax is heavily
determined by her mental state, Dr. Landa says. So it becomes difficult
to relax and enjoy your oral skills if she’s trying to take care of your
needs at the same time.
How to fix it: If you
want her to get the most out of oral, you’re better off taking turns
giving and receiving. Many women claim 69 feels anonymous to them,
because they want their partner to be able to look them in the eyes and
feel a connection, says Gottfried.
So if you stick to giving first, she’s way more likely to enjoy herself.
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