After all, it makes sense that the stress of separating two lives
might bring out the worst in both you and your partner. And the result
of that can make any reality show look tame. 
"After I got over the shock of my husband's mistress asking me for
sex advice, I told her the real story about how we were still married
and why we were divorcing. As if she weren't proof enough! She was as
shocked as I was and we ended up talking for three hours. She dumped him
the next day. She is actually really cool, and we're still friends even
though my ex and I have long since finalized that divorce. Joke's on
him: I got the house, the kids, the money, and the girlfriend." —Ellen C., 35, Salt Lake City, UT
"I never thought I'd be one of those crazy Fatal Attraction types, but when my husband served me with divorce papers
out of nowhere, I became consumed with finding out why. One day we were
having dinner together and talking about plans for a trip to see my
brother and the next day all his stuff was gone from our apartment and
there were divorce papers on the kitchen table. It made no sense! So I
started by going to his job and hiding in the parking lot just to see if
he was really there all the time like he said he was. On his first
smoke break I saw him outside kissing a coworker. That should have been
answer enough, but I had to know who she was and what made her better
than me. So then I started following them after they got off work. I
learned where they were living, where they grocery shopped, and that
kind of thing. I even found out what movies they liked and how much
their cellphone bill was because I went through their mail. I even tried
to slash their tires once, but it turns out that's a lot harder than it
sounds and I couldn't do it. "I'm not proud of my behavior! Even when I was doing it, I almost wished they would catch me so I could confront them both with everything I knew. Eventually I just gave up because it turned out they were really boring. On the last night of my stalking, I went to their place of work and sat down in a table that I knew was her area (she was a waitress). I stared at her to let her know that I knew exactly who she was and what she'd done. And then I left and never looked back. She wasn't better than me at all." —Lucy M., 29, Minneapolis, MN
"I credit the wonderful relationship I have with my dad today to my
divorce. We really butted heads when I was a teen, and I never gave him
the chance he deserved. When I got married he didn't approve so we grew
even further apart until we didn't really speak anymore. When my
marriage started to fall apart, I felt so desperate that I finally asked my parents for advice
about my failing relationship. As my husband and I became more and more
distant, my dad and I became closer together. For the first time, I
realized what great parents I've always had. They weren't trying to be
mean before, they just didn't want me to suffer. They could see things
in my husband that I couldn't. I never could have imagined the sheer
magnitude of love and support my dad offered me. Now I've got a great
relationship with my dad, a new relationship with a guy I love, and no relationship with the guy I divorced." —Lisa M., 26, Portland, OR
"My husband and I were high-school sweethearts. We've been together
nearly 20 years and have three beautiful kids together. The part we
usually leave out is the five years that we were divorced. Our first
marriage only lasted a year. We were both in our late teens and had no
kids. At the time, we thought that clearly we'd gotten married way too
young and divorce was the only way out of our miserable marriage. "So we parted ways. We were both relieved to move on to bigger and better relationships. After five years and countless awful dates that led nowhere, I ran into my ex at a mutual friend's house. It was like we'd never been apart and we instantly picked up the good parts of our relationship. But we were nervous to get back together again, so we only saw each other 'secretly,' pretending it was just another fling. Except it wasn't. Finally we realized that we still loved each other. We went to the courthouse on our lunch hour and got remarried. Our family and friends were shocked.
"We definitely don't have a perfect marriage, but it's a good one. And when we fight, all we have to do is remember those lost five years and we kiss and make up. Now when people hear I was divorced and ask how I get along with my ex I can say, 'Perfectly!'" —Anne R., 37, Seattle, WA
"I got divorced about a year ago after 22 years of marriage. It was
the hardest decision I have ever made. I got married young, and although
I did love him, I was also lacking in self-esteem.
So when someone, anyone, wanted to marry me I wouldn't have dreamt of
saying no. I was sure no one else would ever love me. Now when I
remember that decision, it breaks my heart. I was so loveable! Why did I
believe that?"For over two decades I put up with an unhappy marriage before finally deciding I loved myself enough to quit. But for the first time in my adult life I had to be on my own. I had to get a job, rent a house, and take care of my kids all by myself. At first I thought I would never be able to do it, but over the past 12 months I've learned how strong I really am. I'm finally remembering who I was on the inside. I regret nothing as I have two amazing children." —Tracy P., 46, Minneapolis, MN
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