Five Ways To Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Suck Less

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Love knows no distance. If you've ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know those sayings are pretty much bullsh*t. 

That's because LDRs are widely known to be the worst. Physical absence sucks, and time-zone differences can make texting a nightmare. Plus, eventually you have to confront the fact that one of you will have to move to make the whole thing work. 

But it's not all bad. Couples in long-distance relationships do report feeling emotionally closer to their partners than couples who didn't have to deal with distance, according to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Communication. (Repeat that to yourself over and over when his face keeps freezing on Skype.) 

Part of the reason is that, in lieu of physical intimacy, long-distance relationships often involve sharing more of yourself, according to the research. In other words, when you're apart, you have to try harder—and that translates to a stronger relationship than if you were in the same zip code.

To keep the distance from driving you apart, we asked women who've been in an LDR for their best advice. Use these tips to make the whole affair less torturous.

1. Talk regularly, but give each other space

"Talk every single day, but don't push it, sometimes you are both busy and that's okay," says Matea G., who's working in China for a year while her boyfriend lives in Croatia. "We chat every day and Skype during the weekends." While talking regularly is super important, you don't have to be militant about your FaceTime schedule to the point where phone dates are becoming a burden. "Don’t forget to live your life in your own city," says Naomi F., who spent a year in a long-distance relationship with her now husband.

2. Prioritize in-person visits

"Make every visit a special occasion," says Naomi. Whether you're able to manage visits every other week or every other month, having them on the calendar in advance will give you something to look forward to—especially when the distance feels frustrating.

3. Share the small things

"Share small things that happened to you, so the other person feels included," Matea advises. "This is life after all, the small things." All those little things you'd normally share over dinner? (Think: Your coworker's cute dog she brought into the office, your workout class with the drill sergeant instructor, the bomb bagel you had for breakfast.) Make it a point to share those things with each other throughout the day.

4. Set your expectations and don't be afraid to reevaluate

"I used to get terrible anxiety about our relationship, even though I knew things were going well," says Robin B. "In hindsight, it was the separation itself giving me seeds of doubt, not my partner. It's important to keep in mind that the absence itself is an important component of the relationship, not just a minor detail." Long-distance relationships are definitely tricky, don't kid yourself. But preparing yourself for the challenge can help.
"If there’s no intended end in sight, then you need to re-evaluate what’s keeping you in that city and what’s keeping you in that relationship," adds Naomi. Don't torture yourself if the distance is taking too much of a toll on your happiness.

5. Be open with your feelings

In an LDR, communication—and being willing to get a little vulnerable—are key to staying close. "Express how you feel—'I miss you,'' I wish you were here,' 'I miss us having lunch together,' etc.," says Matea. "Be strong. It's difficult, but can be done."

By Macaela Mackenzie Ja