VAIDS

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Movie review: No stars — none! — for ‘Misconduct’ with Al Pacino and Anthony Hopkins

When a greedy professional ignores standards and betrays the public trust, that's misconduct.

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And the people behind "Misconduct" should know.
This isn't a movie, it's a rapsheet, a series of assaults committed against its cast and its viewers.
A pair of legendary actors is criminally misdirected, two of Hollywood's prettiest actresses are sadistically abused and we're robbed of our time and money.
I've been to muggings that were more fun.


The ludicrous story has shady Southern lawyer Ben — played by forgettable Josh Duhamel — trying to impress shadier boss Al Pacino.
So when Ben's crazy ex-girlfriend (Malin Akerman) suggests sharing confidential files on her new lover, a sleazy billionaire played by Anthony Hopkins, Ben jumps — first her bones, then on her offer.
Ben's lovely wife (Alice Eve) doesn't like this very much, though. Neither does the billionaire. Neither does a mysterious Korean on a motorcycle. Pretty soon people start turning up dead.
It's tempting to envy them.

At least the dearly departed can stop trying to follow an increasingly crazy story. Or focusing on camerawork that consists of slow, endless pans to … nothing.
Director Shintaro Shimosawa just comes up empty.
And he's not helped by his where's-my-check veterans. Hopkins, who looks a little confused, disappears for long stretches and spends one entire scene standing behind an armchair. Perhaps there was nothing bigger to hide behind.
His low energy leaves plenty of chewable scenery for Pacino, though. His hair combed into a nest even Pizza Rat would shun, he digs in with gusto, too, smacking his lips and drawling out his lines like Foghorn Leghorn. I say, I say, it's a joke, son!
Well, no it's not. Except on us.

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