You've probably heard about the hacking of the website Ashley Madison, which billed itself as “the most successful website for finding an affair and cheating partners.”
The hacker collective calling itself “Impact Group” promised to “out”
the site’s members, including explicit descriptions of the individuals’
sexual fantasies.
As a therapist specializing in working with couples, I know a truth
most people don’t know—that relationships can bounce back from
infidelity. They can even become stronger than ever. I am not at all
advocating for affairs, but I do want to instill some hope that
relationships can overcome them.
(Hit the reset button—and burn fat like crazy with The Body Clock Diet!)
Some researchers have estimated that approximately 2.3% of married
women and 4.3% of married men cheat, while other studies suggest that as
many as 25% of men and 11% of women will, at some point in their lives,
end up in bed with someone other than their partner. I suspect the
numbers are even higher.
Recent research strongly suggests that, despite cultural and religious assumptions and demands, humans are not actually wired for monogamy.
That being said, infidelity is the number-one reason couples come to me
for counseling. They are desperate to stay together and sincerely want
to work through the pain and betrayal, which can hurt almost as much as
the pain we experience when someone we know has died. That's because, in
many ways, the marriage has died, but that doesn’t mean a new one can't
be born.
In fact, when a relationship does survive an affair and the couple
makes it to the healing on the other side, their connection typically
becomes better than ever. But that doesn’t happen without a lot of hard
work and many difficult conversations along the way.
People cheat for many reasons. Some of my
clients have told me they cheated because they were too afraid or
ashamed to talk to their partner about their sexual preferences or
fantasies. They may have cautiously suggested a sexual practice that was
met with disbelief, disgust, or accusations of perversion, and vowed
never again to raise the subject.
Here are four essential things that must be in place for a marriage
to survive cheating and come out of the experience stronger than ever.
Click to read more: The Only Relationships That Survive Cheating All Have These 4 Things In Common
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